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Premarital Counseling
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When a couple crosses that important line from dating to engaged, they begin to make plans for their wedding day. Visions of dresses, cakes, flowers, bachelor parties and honeymoons fill their minds as they prepare for the ceremony. Unfortunately, so much time and energy is spent preparing for their wedding that couples sometimes forget to prepare for something even more important-their marriage.
This is why premarital counseling is so important. Once the wedding they dreamed of is behind them, a young couple marrying in 2008 can expect to have sixty or seventy years together as a married couple. During that time, conflicts will arise, circumstances will change, children will arrive and leave, and even a couple’s deep values will shift. Premarital counseling can give a couple the tools to navigate these issues as they arise, and to keep a marriage strong, healthy, and exciting.
Some of the areas that premarital counseling help a couple prepare for include:
- Communication. Couples will learn skills such as assertive speaking and active listening. This skill set goes beyond simply liking to talk to each other; it involves learning constructive ways to ask for what you want and to get problems resolved in ways that leave both partners satisfied, and the marriage stronger than ever.
- Expectations. Everyone goes into marriage with strong ideas about what marriage should be like, but those ideas sometimes conflict with their partner’s ideas. Premarital counseling can help uncover deep-seated expectations of marriage so that they can become a source of strength rather than conflict in a marriage.
- Role relationships. Will the spouses play traditional household roles within the marriage, or will they determine roles based on skills and preferences? A surprising number of couples makes assumptions about these roles without ever discussing them.
- Family of origin issues. For better or worse, the families people were raised in influence the families they will make. Premarital counseling helps a couple identify the patterns set by previous generations so that they may choose or reject those patterns consciously.
- Parenting. A couple cannot anticipate every parenting decision they will have to make, but premarital counseling helps them to bring values, hopes, and expectations into the open and discuss how those will influence their child-raising.
- Money. Couples often go into a marriage without having a frank discussion about debt, income, savings, investments, giving, and the values that underlie each of these. Premarital counseling offers a couple a chance to discuss these issues openly, as well as to learn skills such as budgeting, financial goal-setting, and prioritizing.
Many couples receive premarital counseling from the clergyperson who performs their ceremony. Others go to counselors who specialize in the skills required for marriage. Anyone planning to marry should check the requirements of their religion or county to see whether premarital counseling is mandatory for them.
Regina Watson is the owner of Elegant Wedding Impressions. She sells a variety of wedding favors at affordable prices. Elegant Wedding Favors carries affordable wedding favors and unique wedding favors. At Elegant Wedding Impressions you will be able to find a variety of quality wedding accessories such as guest books, Unity Candles, toasting flutes, wedding decorations, ring pillows, bridesmaid gifts and groomsmen gifts.
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